Updated: Mar 2
Manifestation is a unique concept, almost imperial to me as I never really realize
I have manifested, until… well, until I manifest. The process usually starts as a whisper and an option, “You know what I could use…” Then I passively request it, “I wish I had…”
Then it escalates quickly to passive aggression as I begin binge-tasking (similar to binge-eating but with tasks). I am now exasperated at the universe for not giving me something that I indirectly asked for. The universe says some things, I say some things. I always apologize, eventually, to which the universe always responds, “You did nothing to necessitate an apology.” Yet, I feel like I do. The universe is so loving and gentle with me, why am I not so gentle with myself? Are my feelings and actions towards myself connected to my manifestation? Did I remember to floss this morning?
According to Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D.*, “Self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.” The line between self love, selfishness and self indulgence is very distinct. Self indulgence is characterized by a temporary good feeling, selfishness is characterized by lack of consideration for anyone else but self and self love is a life-long sequence of actions of mindfulness, setting boundaries, forgiveness, living intentionally and it’s not always as pleasant as we would like it to be.
Sarah-Len Mutiwasekwa** continues “To love yourself is not an act of selfishness, it is an act of kindness toward others because when you love yourself, others don't have to deal with your unresolved problems.” Ouch !! It sounds like if I work on loving actions towards myself, the universe (or my romantic partner, or my siblings or my parents or my coworkers or the person who cut me off in traffic or my barista or my cat or my dog) will not have to deal with my ISH.
In honor of the red capitalistic holiday, formerly known as Valentine’s day, I decided to manifest a catalog of women who are expanding themselves to love of self and others, and the Universe approves (we’re back on speaking terms).
* A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love, Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D., Psychology Today,
March 27, 2012
** Self-Love, Sarah-Len Mutiwasekwa, Psychology Today, November 12, 2019