One month ago today I said goodbye to my grandmother. Thanks to FB, I am reminded of that day," Yesterday I wasn't ready to say goodbye. Then today, I went to the hospital, I her today's devotional and something prompted me to read her tomorrow's devotional too. I opened up the window as she looked out at Sunday's best and I cried. I knew this was goodbye. You taught me how to forgive and delicately spoke directly to my heart whenever I needed you to. Thank you so much for enriching our lives with your existence." Facebook, the fabric of our lives, right?
Right, One month ago today. It feels like forever. I still have days. They were consecutive. Then they were alternating.I've had a month of tethering between grief and gratefulness. This month has felt like years. "It gets easier," they say, which trivializes it. It doesn't get easier. It's just the longing and grief for them transforms to memories as the distance between space and time extends. You cry less, but you hear their voices more. You feel their presence more and you remember what they would say, how they would laugh, how they would touch...It's beautiful.
It was a beautiful day because as I thanked the heavens for embracing my maternal grandmother, I became pen pals with my paternal grandfather. I'm jumping ahead of myself, as it was the first letter, a few sentences from him, that I plan to respond with a dissertation.
He wrote me a letter from my Father's Day card. The best $1 I ever spent. Yes. I stopped buying $5 cards for the holidays. He's not much of a talker and I've never had a real conversation past the weather and the Redskins with him, but today is that day. 1 month after my grandmother left this physical space and the day my grandfather became my pen pal. Serendipity (may not fit here, but roll with it).
06262019
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